I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
