my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
