I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize