Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
please don't ironically join a cult
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