Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
