Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
