Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
