dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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