The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
