she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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