Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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