thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she told me i tasted like america
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
