You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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