I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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