is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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