That's intense
I puked a lego.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry my hands just texted you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize