like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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