I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
