at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
