What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
