So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
