Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
