I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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