I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
