so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm just crazy horny about you
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
