Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
