I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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