mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
