I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found a bag of teeth...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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