I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
