I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
