You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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