She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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