my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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