God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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