Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize