that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
