Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
