I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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