i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
