You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Drunk is not a location!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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