I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this is an emotional support booty call
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
