She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
