I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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