i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
