Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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