I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize