I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize