I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
