STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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