i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
