I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
