I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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