Moan for me like Helen Keller
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
