he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize