we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
