i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize