No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
